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After the death of our son

Jana Kameníková

When I finished the university I got married to my fellow student and after three years I gave birth to the little boy called little Lucas.On the All Saints´Day.

When he was one year and six months old he fell ill three days before the Easter.He died on the Good Friday.Then I began asking why? Why he? Why on the Good Friday? I started asking about God and why he allowed this? Why he and not me? Why someone innocent? I wanted to know and to understand more.I started calling to God.Each day incessantly.And he heard me.

A friend of mine got the New Testament for me.I began to understand various things.I asked the Virgin Mary to intercede for the baby.Everybody told me that I should wait a year because it wouldn´t be possible to have a baby in that stress that I´d experienced.In three months after the death of my son I received the gift of faith.Not only me and my husband but also my parents became attached to God.My son died in April and in August it was obvious I was expecting.Next May little Mary was born.It was a miracle in our life.We were waiting for our first baby for three years but for our second one just three months.We celebrated the baptism and then the church wedding.Then the confirmation.In three years we had Terezka.Then we took part in the first canonization of the John Sarcandr and Saint Zdislava by the Holy Father in Olomouc.

After the maternity leave I went to work again.And slowly I got lost in this world.My faith started to stagnate.It stopped growing.Later on, our congregation went to participate in the meeting with Father Alvaro Grammatica.Plenty of people spoke about him.I wanted to take part in it and so my husband and I went there.I experienced the great peace in my heart, I wept and was happy.He was last year in Kyjov.Everyone talked about the course Filip.Even the sisters from our congregation went there and returned as new creatures.We´d like to go there as well but we connected this experience only with Father Alvaro….We didn´t feel like going to Pilsen.In addition, we didn´t know what to do with our children.It was an excuse as well.We weren´t in the mood for going there.I was saying to myself I´d put it in God´s hands because if he wanted us to go there he´d arrange it somehow.A month ago I spoke about it again with the sister who was leading us ( she is also my confirmation godmother ) and she told me:“I´ve got an application and don´t know for whom.Fill it in and don´t hesitate to go there.Don´t waste your time on waiting.It´s not far away, only to Kroměříž.“It all happened very quickly.It was necessary to send the application in a week´s time.

On top of that, my husband was on duty.However, everything turned out well ( on my way to the post office I lost my letter and then I found it again )….Now I know that God wanted us to be here.Even myself.

When I opened myself to God I experienced God´s love and peace.I could feel the Holy Spirit coming to me and touching me physically during the praises.It couldn´t be described.It was something like flow or wave that was coming and going away.It was so nice that I felt like crying when everything fell silent.And also my own experience that I could be in on it… here…..

Displayed 20901x od 21. 12. 2002
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